cardrona – now and then.

Image result for cardrona sunrise

It is one of those golden dreamy mornings at Cardrona Ski Resort. The sun has not yet risen and the stars are still sending their distant glow down towards the mountains making the atmosphere unearthly and isolated. The only clouds that are visible are coming from the ski patrollers dynamiting the dangerous terrain on the side of the basin. The half moon that has risen overnight pierces the summit of Mt Cardrona eventually descending below towards the blanketed valleys of Queenstown. The crisp and piercing air stings my face, feeling like a broad role of sandpaper rolling down over it. The rental gear area slowly becomes chaotic, led by the impatient locals who have left a piece of their gear at home. The iced and snowed-over lifts begin to run, the alien sound reverberating into my ears. Particles of snow and dust that have calmly rested on the chairlift wires overnight, slowly drop down onto the dry newly groomed corduroy erupting in a frantic white ball of thrill. A bitter southerly breeze blows its way in between signs and seats, onto my face making my whole body numb. The barista machines fire away, the excess steam condensing the warm windows inside. Every sip of my warm mochaccino, I become more awake while still having a relaxed feeling. The half-asleep people in the coffee line slowly shuffle forward to collect the beverage of their choice. My snowboard sits silently away on the ski racks, waiting to be picked up again in the coming minutes.

As the skiers and snowboarders stumble towards the drop in of their choice, a blinding radiance of light peeks over from the mountains of the east. Suddenly, everything changes. The light slowly spreads and smothers itself over the mountain, leaving a jigsaw puzzle of shadows made by the silhouette of passing people. Recent snow that has been solemnly sitting in the dark now glows with the light and begs to be ridden. Looking at this terrain makes the caffeine, slowly making its way around my body, ignite in an insane burst of energy. I feel the excitement tumbling around inside me, like a dog trying to get out of its cage. The emotion concealed beneath my skin excretes in the form of sweat and fast breath. The senses in my body are now super-charged and I can feel every single bit of my clothing touching my moist skin. My ears record every tiny detail from the small crunch of snow underneath someone’s boot to the slight beat from a child’s adrenaline-filled heart. The softened sound of screams and heartbeats scatter around the mountain as the warmth of the light touches the mountain face. The once visible steam coming out of my lungs slowly fades away into the sunny beam. Sunlight reflecting off the snowy lifts shines sharp blindness into the corner of my eye. Along with my whole body shivering, the hairs on my head start to try to push their way through my helmet. A ski patroller walks out to the Whitestar drop in with a small green sign in hand. Flurries of butterflies flap away in my lower gut, as I know what is about to come. He puts this sign into the open slot and that is when the imaginary lines in the snow become reality. Cardrona is open for business. Every single skier and boarder uses all the energy that has been hidden deep within themselves to push themselves over the edge of the lip. I also push myself forward joining the melee. My feet sink into the soft blanket of powder and a sudden surge of euphoria ripples down my whole body. As I do a big backside turn, I feel the warmth of the light hit my face and I know it’s going to be a good day.

2 thoughts on “cardrona – now and then.”

  1. Hi Oliver,

    During these early stages of drafting, I encourage you to:

    • Experiment with your syntax. At the moment, your writing feels very listed, like you are observing the details around you. Mix up your sentence structures and blend some of your ideas together into complex sentences.
    • Think about how you can “show” the scene through the senses rather than telling us what is there. Consider how you can best utilize figurative devices and language connotations to encourage your reader to imply the scene, rather than narrating it to them all the time.

    Mrs. P

  2. Hi Oliver,

    During your final hours of this assessment, I encourage you to:

    • Finish developing your second timeframe. Ensure there is a ‘mirror’ between your two timeframes and the images you are developing are warped by the change in time.
    • Edit your work carefully, looking closely for grammatical errors or areas that you could tweak. Remember, there is a post on the class blog to help you with this.

    • Look to vary your sentence starters. At the moment, you are frequently opening your sentence with the subject of that sentence and it makes your piece sound very listed. Look to mix it up and begin with a verb or a preposition.

    Mrs. P

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